Erotic Quickie · Fantasy

My Brand of Diplomacy

This 1,000 word fantasy quickie is for mature readers only. It features a rogue giving herself some self-loving and an undead lich.

Source: Icewind Dale

“And to think I let you fools come this far.” The lich sat on its throne. Its tattered Byzantium robe trailed past the throne of skulls and into the shadows. “No matter. It will be a mistake I won’t make again. You will return everything you’ve stolen from my tomb, and I will add your bones to my collection.”

Aliaga glanced sidelong to her companions. She couldn’t bear to look at Thom or Felden in the eyes. It was her fault they were in this mess in the first place. It was an easy job, she told them. They were going to come home as rich as kings, she had said. And now we’re bound like slaves, Aliaga thought bitterly.

I’m going to get us out of this. Don’t you worry about that.

“Perhaps we can come to some sort of agreement, your Highness.” Aliaga bowed so deep, her nose touched the floor. These types loved getting their asses kissed. Behind her, her hands worked to undo the knots, but they were tied with some sort of enchantment. It was useless. “We shall return your treasures.

The lich hadn’t said anything, so Aliaga looked up. Thom and Felden were looking at her expectantly, urging her to go on with their eyes. She looked at the undead wizard’s mien and stared into the deep green orbs of light in its eye sockets. She continued, “Not only that, but when you allow us to return to the surface world, we’ll spread the word of your terrible power. You’ll have adventurers flooding your tomb in no time. You will have more bones than you know what to do with.”

Their captor seemed to be considering the prospect, and for a small moment, the three of them started to think they’d live through this. To think this could have all been avoided if Aliaga hadn’t been so greedy and lifted the lid off that sarcophagus.

The lich cut their hopes short.

“No.” Its voice sent deep vibrations through the room. Dust shook from the ceiling. Thom groaned in despair and fell to his side. “I’m not finished talking, mortal. There’s no need to cry. Yet. A bargain is not out of the question entirely.”

“Of course,” Aliaga said, bowing over and over, “anything at all, your Highness. Your word is our command.”

“Never mind this ‘we’ business,” the lich said. “I’m not interested in those two.”

The color drained out of Aliaga’s face. What did it want? Their lives for her own? Thom and Felden were true friends, but she didn’t think she could make that sacrifice. The lich mockingly raised a cupped skeletal hand to its non-existent ears.

“No words for me now, eh?” A deep rumble, something between a laugh and a bark, came from the lich’s rotten teeth. It stood from its throne and stepped towards the three of them. The other two tried to squirm away but their bonds held them tight. “In my life, I had a keen appetite for carnal lusts, thief.  I took many lovers. More than I can count. I hosted extravagant orgies, flowing with wine and… other succulent juices. My body may have died, but my desires have not.”

Aliaga blinked. It couldn’t be asking her what she thought it was asking her… could it? She cleared her throat. “Are you asking to fuck me?”

“I forget how presumptuous mortals are.” The two, sickly lights in its eye sockets jumped out and flew around the room. The orbs multiplied, and soon the room was bathed in a suffocating green light. “I want you to pleasure yourself, thief. And I’m going to watch.”

The bonds disappeared from her wrists. Aliaga couldn’t believe what she just heard. She thought she would be disgusted by the idea, but the thought of making herself cum in front of this monster aroused her. She liked knowing that something so ancient could still be attracted to her. She remembered her companions, and looked forward to the little show even more. She’d exposed her breasts to Thom and Felden before, to give them something to think about in their cots, but this was something else entirely.

“You,” the lich said, regarding her two companions with its upturned palms, “Both of you remove her armor. Make it quick.”

Thom and Felden had no choice but to comply. They couldn’t bring themselves to look at her in the face. Aliaga knew they were blushing, though. She smirked at this. As they removed her armor, she whispered, “I know our relationship has been strictly business so far, for the most part, but I don’t want this to change anything. So I want you both to watch. And I want you to enjoy it.”

They moved faster than she had ever seen them move before.

One by one, her clothing liberated themselves from her body. First, her boots. Then, her bracers. Her breastplate, belt, greaves, and pants followed soon after. She stood, naked, in all her glory. Thom hungrily stared at her full, moon-shaped breasts. Felden licked his lips as he took in her firm, round ass. Aliaga couldn’t be entirely sure what the lich was looking at, but if it had eyes, she knew it would be savoring the sight of her seething, dripping pussy. She couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. She wanted to show everyone in that room how ready she was.


Aliaga felt the voice in the pit of her stomach. At once, she spread her legs and spread herself with one hand. With the other, she stroked the length of her slit back and forth with her middle finger. She played it up, exaggerating her moans. One look at Thom and Felden’s pants let her know she was doing a good job. It was a pity their hands were still tied. Their cocks must have been begging for release.

“Do you like what you see, your Highness?” She craned her neck toward the ceiling. She loved feeling their eyes on her. Thom must have been drooling. Her fingers danced dangerously close to her clit, but she didn’t touch herself there just yet. She wanted this to last. “Do you like it when I fuck myself like the little whore I am?”

The lich said nothing, but it seemed to Aliaga that the green light became deeper, stronger. She lay on the floor, giving the undead wizard the full view. She lifted her legs, spreading herself as much as she could.

“Thom, Felden,” she breathed, her voice thick and full of desire, “grab my feet. Keep me spread like this. Hold me in place.”

They did as they were told. Her right hand started to work her clit in a circle, teasing her orgasm out of her core. Her left hand reached under her left leg and she used her fingers to fuck herself. Her knuckle rubbed against her spot in a way that made her moan in ecstasy. It was time.

She knew she must have looked like a goddess. They wanted her, and she loved that they did. She was their whore, their masturbating beauty. Aliaga felt Thom rubbing his cock on her foot, from behind his trousers. It felt good and thick on her  foot, and she made a note to see him in his quarters later. But she knew today’s show was for the lich. She turned to Thom, feigning offense.

“You naughty boy,” she said. Felden followed his friend’s example, and now both of them were using her foot to subtly please themselves.

“Watch me,” she said, goading them all, “watch me rub my little pussy for you. Watch me fuck myself. You like it, don’t you? You want me so much. You wish it was your cock in me. You wish you were filling me up. Thom, Felden, I could take both of you now, if I could.”

Her hands moved faster, and the light in the room was focused on her and only her.

“I’m going to cum.” Her mouth opened into a beautiful ‘O.’ Aliaga’s hips bucked, the pleasure shooting through her body like the rising sun. It warmed her, made her feel like the center of the world. Judging by the warmth she felt with both of her feet, she wasn’t the only one.

For a moment, there was no other sound but Aliaga’s ragged breathing. Then, the lich stepped back to its throne, swept its deep purple robe out of the way, and sat back down. The lights were back in its eyes, glowing less menacingly now.

“I am satisfied, thief.” With a flick of its wrists, Thom and Felden’s bonds disappeared as well. “Now begone with you.”

“Not so fast.” Aliaga licked her fingers and started to work the heat back into her pussy. “You two, take off your trousers. We’re doing this again.”

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